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Quotes from A Tale of Two Santas

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Professor: Yes, yes, yes, you sound like a broken MP3.

Quote 36

Fry: I'm Santa Claus.
Hermes: No, I'm Santa Claus.
Amy with the Professor: We're also Santa Claus.
Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus.

Quote 35

Mayor: My God, the real Santa. Get 'em Jesus.
Zoidberg [dressed as Jesus]: I help those who help themselves!

Quote 34

[The Planet Express building is covered in armor]
Professor: Bring it on Santa! That blood thirsty cadaver junky can't touch us as long as we're not stupid enough to leave this building.
[Fry, Leela and Bender cheer]
Professor: In a related matter, you'll be delivering this sack of childrens letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune.
[Fry, Leela and Bender cringe]

Quote 33

Random child: Dear Santa, please please don't bring me any gifts. The bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun really tore up my insides.

Quote 32

Random child: Dear Santa, please bring me a coffin for grandpa. You choked him with a chestnut last year and he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas if you know what I mean.

Quote 31

Fry: Ah, bathtub eggnog, just the way grandma use to drink. Eww, it went sour.
[Zoidberg appears from bathtub]
Zoidberg: Can't I have a scented bath in peace?

Quote 30

Neptunian: Help you got any food? Old tea bags, chewed gum, apply cores? C'mon we're starving here.
Fry: But you live in a gingerbread house.
Neptunian: Hey, it's food or shelter, not both.

Quote 29

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